Let's Pretend This Never Happened
by Hori Midorikawa
Summary: I really messed everything up...I promised I would always protect you...But I just ended up hurting you myself...  Shota, non-con, comicbased!fic
1. Chapter 1

**Lets Pretend This Never Happened**

It was late, and very dark, and England had only just finished up for the day. He opened the door to the large mansion quietly, stepping indoors. It was late and America was sure to be sleeping.

"What a waste of time. Why do those idiots bother me with such trivial things?" He grumbled as he entered the house, only to be greeted with a small figure bowling right into his middle.

America.

"Welcome home!" He said happily, a huge grin all over his boyish face. He was truly adorable.

England looked down at the short boy, the tiniest bit of annoyance on his face. "America! What are you doing up so late? You are supposed to be in bed."

"But then no one would be up to welcome you back." He replied, still smiling.

England moved over to the coat stand in the corner, shrugging his jacket off and putting it up. "I told you I'd be back late, but I appreciate it." He said, smiling warmly at the young colony. He moved to sit down in a chair, taking the weight off his sore feet. "It's nice to get such a warm welcome."

"Why did you have to go?" America asked innocently.

"Hm? Just some business. Nothing you have to worry about." He said, taking off his tie with a sigh.

The young boy clambered onto his lap, smiling at him, "I really missed you."

"I wasn't gone that long."

"It felt like forever! I was crying the whole time waiting for you."

Arthur's eyes widened as his eyebrows turned up a little, had the child really missed him this much? "You were? I'm sorry."

The young colony giggled, "I'm just teasing you!" He threw his arms around England's neck as the elders hands went around his waist to draw him into a hug. "I wish I could be with you all the time!"

"So do I" England replied, sighing slightly, moving one arm to drape over the back of the chair and petting the boy's silky hair with the other. "It's late, aren't you tired?"

"Nope, I could stay up all night!" The child replied, grin never leaving his face.

England gripped one of his thin, pale arms gently, a frown and blush developing on his cheeks. "You always seem to have an endless amount of energy..." He leaned back in the chair, studying the British-American's face. "America, would you give me a kiss?"

America's large blue eyes widened. "A kiss?" Despite his small confusion, he leaned close enough to his elder and gently brushed his lips against the others.

Arthur moved one hand to the back of the boys head to pull him in closer, slipping his tongue into the boys surprised mouth, wrapping his arms tightly around the small frame.

Alfred let out a muffled cry and pushed away from Arthur forcefully. "England that's gross!"

England grabbed the young boys shoulders and threw the both of them to the ground, pinning the child down with his weight. He moved one hand down to cup his crotch through his shorts as he bent down to lightly nip his ear.

"Stop it!" The colony screamed, pushing the elder male off of him and getting up and running away before Arthur could catch what had happened.

"America wait!"

America didn't listen, the only thoughts going through his mind was to run. Get away from Arthur, England wanted to hurt him. He ran all the way until he was outside, almost lost. He felt a grip on his elbow and flinched before tugging hold of Arthur's hand and throwing him over his shoulder.

"Leave me alone!"

He looked down as England mumbled out a cry of pain. "England..."

"America...I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me. I'm really very sorry! Please come back..." He said, covering up his face with one hand.

"Why did you do that? You were acting so strange."

"I...I don't...There is no excuse for my behaviour. I promise, I won't do it again!"

America covered his mouth with his hand, reliving what just happened. "You stuck your tongue in my mouth and then you-"

"Aah! Don't say any more!" England yelled, cutting him off.

England still lay on the ground, tears pricking the corner of his green eyes. "I...Shouldn't have done that. Please forgive me. You probably hate me now..."

America crouched on the ground near his elder, looking at him intently. "I'm not mad, it was just kinda scary."

_I forgive you_

He reached his hand out to England, helping him up from the muddy ground. "Let's go back."

/

America looked at England, sprawled on his back on his bed, covering his face with both hands, as if stressed. The young boy's face turned saddened.

"England are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He grumbled, obviously not fine at all. "Go to bed America. Your_ own_ bed."

"Okay, but are you sure you're alright? I mean,_ um_, you're not hurt are you? Because I didn't mean to..."

England's face developed into a dark scowl. "Will you just get out!"

America whimpered a little in fear, recoiling from the sudden display of anger. "I'm sorry I ran away! I'm sorry I hurt you! Please don't be upset."

England ran a hand through his already messy hair tiredly. "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself."

"But you were angry I stayed up late, weren't you? That's why you did 'that'?"

"No you got that all wrong. I wasn't trying to punish you."

He looked off to the side a little, eyebrows upturned. "I did that because I love you."

"I don't understand..." America began, "You always told me I shouldn't let anyone touch me like that. That it's indecent. That it's bad. Why are you saying you did that 'because you love me'? It doesn't make sense."

England brought a hand up to his face, pondering. "How can I explain it?" Suddenly an idea formed in his mind and he brought his hand away.

"America. The reason I told you it's bad is because you shouldn't let just anyone touch you. You should only do that with someone you truly love. It's a way to show that person you love them by sharing something you'd never share with anyone else, and I'm sorry..." England looked away to the side, "I thought you loved me too."

"I do love you!" Counteracted America, oblivious to the smirk appearing on England's face. "I love you more than anything else in the world!"

America screwed his face up, tears pricking his eyes as he twisted the bedsheets between his small hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise what you were doing! It's not like I don't want to kiss you. I want to hug and kiss you all the time. If you want, you can kiss me 'like that'."

England frowned and gripped America's bony shoulders. "But didn't you say it was 'gross'? Won't you just run off again?"

America looked up into his eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks. "No, I promise I won't run away. I only want to make you happy."

A small kiss was placed on the colonial boy's forehead. "You're such a good boy." England praised before cupping the boys face and bringing him into a deep kiss.

_I want to show England how much I love him._

_Even though it's scary._

_Even though it feels gross..._

_And wrong..._

England was towering over the child, pinning him to the bed, until America's hand shot up and hit him in the chin. He looked down to see the boy panting as if for dear life.

"I couldn't breathe!" He squeaked out.

England looked down, a lustful smirk on his face as he studied the young boy. "Hmm? You should breathe through your nose then." He said, lifting up the boys left arm to kiss on the underside.

America looked to the side, uncertainty plastered all over his face. "I don't want to do this anymore."

England ignored him, pulling the young boy's tie off.

"I just want to go to bed. I'm tired."

England leaned down to his neck, sucking and licking on a certain place, determined to leave a mark.

"England!" He cried, sitting up and pushing the other man away. "I said 'I want to go to bed'!"

"Really?" England replied, starting to remove the dark blonde haired boy's shirt. "Earlier you said you could stay up all night."

"I...I did, but..."

"'But' what? Don't you want to be with me?"

"I do, but..." England pulled his shirt over his head, "Haven't I done enough?"

"America...We have so much farther to go..." He said, pushing America back down onto the pillows and climbing on top of him, looking down at him with a dark scowl on his face.

"Listen, I'm going to do something. It will hurt at first, but then it will feel good. You're not going to push me away, are you? After all, you promised you wouldn't do that, you said you wouldn't run away."

The boy looked up at him fearfully. "W-what are you going to do?"

England took a hold of the boys shorts and started pulling them down. "Something that will make us closer. Don't be scared."

It was easier said than done as England stared down at his naked form with a predatory glance in his eyes.

"America, your body is beautiful."

America looked away, tears filling his eyes again. He felt so dirty, so wrong...

"Ah, wha ah you ouhing?" He mumbled out when England slipped two fingers into his mouth.

"Go on, suck on it." Commanded the elder, an order which America lived up to.

"That's a good lad." He said, retracting his saliva slick fingers from the small cavern and lifting up one of the small, childish legs.

"Just relax, alright." He said, slowly pressing one finger into America's tight entrance.

The young boy's eyes widened as his face contorted into fear and disgust. "What are you doing! That's gross! It's gross!" He cried, sitting up, only to earn a dissaproving glare from the elder.

"I don't want to hear you say that ever again!" He yelled. "Besides, it's only 'gross' if you're doing this with someone you don't love. Are you saying you don't love me?" He thrust two fingers into the young boy roughly.

"I'm not saying that at all! I do love you!"

England leaned towards him, a dangerous grin on his face. "I love you too."

"How is this going to make us closer...? I don't understand..." He whispered out gently.

England rested his hands on either of the young child's knees, pushing his legs apart. "It's alright if you don't understand for now. Just trust me." He said before pushing his aching member into the hot, tight opening presented before him.

"A-ah...AHH!" America cried out in pain. "England. It hurts."

England panted, his hot breath tickling America's flesh. "America, please..."

"It hurts! Stop it, you're hurting me!" He cried out, face screwed up in pain and embarrassment.

"Endure this for me..." He said, lifting the small legs up to pull them around his waist so he could thrust into the tight virgin heat better,

"I-I'm trying..." He started, before throwing his hands up to his face, covering it from view, trying to blot out the searing pain. "I can't! I CAN'T! STOP IT!" He screeched.

England took hold of one of his hands, pulling it away from his face. "Shhh, it's okay...Don't cover your face, I want to see you." He said, glaring intently at him.

He pinned the young boys hands to the bed, not allowing him to move.

"England why won't you stop!" America pleaded, sobbing.

"I can't stop now..." He huffed out, thrusting sharply into him. The tightness, the heat, oh gods it _was_ too much for him to simply _stop_ now.

"A-Ahhhh!" England cried out as he spilled his seed into America's small body, the child staring up at him through tear-soaked eyes.

He linked their hands together as he collapsed on top of his colony. "America...America, I love you..." He pulled his spent member from the younger body, a single strand of ejaculate still connecting the two.

_England said this would make us closer..._

_Was he lying...?_

_I don't feel any closer to him than before..._

_In fact..._

_It feels like he's farther away from me than ever..._

England laid a small kiss on America's forehead, pleased the boy had put up with it, despite the pain. "America, are you alright?"

America shook, trying to hold the tears back, but couldn't and they fell, and he sobbed loudly. "England why...Why did you..."

England pulled the small trembling body up to his chest, cradling him. "Shhh..Shh...Don't cry. It's all over now, you did good."

America pushed him away, anger on his face, and moved to sit and cry by himself at the other side of the bed.

Away from England.

The two sat for a while like that, in pure silence only disrupted by America's wails or sniffles.

"Are you done crying...?" England asked, looking over his shoulder to see America nod.

"America it's late, you should wash up and go to bed..."

"England, I-! ...N-Nothing, never mind..." The colony picked up his clothes and left England's room silently, the only noise being the 'click' from the door shutting.

England's face slowly turned to an angry scowl.

"Shit!"

He leaned on one of his arms, tears streaking down his face. "Shit...This is bad...I really fucked up.."

It was if the whole room had turned dark as he leaned over the edge of the bed, holding his face in his hands. "He hates me now."

He looked up when he noticed a shine in the air. It was two fairies. "Oh it's you guys...You always show up when I'm hurt or crying...But don't bother trying to cheer me up this time...There's no fixing what I did, even with magic..."

His eyes widened.

"Wait a second...Magic!"

He sat on the floor, pulling a book from his shelf and opening it. "Maybe I can fix this! I know there's got to be a potion or spell in here that can help!" He said, determined. "Ah! Here's one! _'Deperjre Revocajus'_, This potion will erase the last twenty four hours from the persons memory...No, this won't work, it takes twenty four hours to make..."

He leaned back, looking at a corner of the room curiously, thinking hard. "Hold on, I think I've made this before...I might actually still have it around!"

He pulled a chest out from under the bed and opened it, being greeted with multitudes of containers and flasks, all different colours and some not even describable. England reached in and took out a dark purplish blue bottle and held it up to his face. "This is it...I made it for my enemies, I never thought I'd use it on someone I love..."

He remembered how happy he'd been once he'd been able to hold America as his, his cute, chubby baby face smiling at him. He always loved America and now...

_I really messed everything up..._

_I promised I would always protect you..._

_But I just ended up hurting you myself..._

"I'm sorry America..."

/

He walked in on the young boy putting his night clothes on, pulling it down quickly as soon as he spotted England. He didn't want him to see him naked ever again. He felt so vulnerable.

England's face pulled into an expression of shame.

America was scared of him...

"America..."

The colony started walking backwards, to get away from England.

"Wait, I'm not going to hurt you, I want to give you something."

He held out a tiny glass to the child, but America turned his head away, flinching. He opened one eye to look at the offering. "What is it...?"

England smiled awkwardly. "It's to help you sleep, I-It's good for you!" He held the glass out to America again, crouching to his level. "Here, drink."

America pushed his hand away. "No! You're lying, it's probably something bad!"

All trust was now gone.

America rubbed his eyes with his fists, tears flowing again. "You're trying to poison me aren't you?"

"I-I would never!" England cried out in shock. "But you're right...It's not to help you sleep...It's a magic potion that will make you forget what happened tonight..." He looked into America's eyes pleadingly. "Right now you're scared of me. I can't take it. I just want things to go back to how they were before tonight. Don't you want that too?" He reached out and placed a hand on the boys shoulder. "And if you drink this, I promise I will never, ever do that to you again."

America took the tiny glass, a look of uncertainty on his face. "You promise...?" But before even getting an answer, he drank it all down. England pulled him into a hug gently.

"Thank you."

He tucked America in and stood by the door until he fell asleep, hoping for the best.

/

England took the pan from off the stove, now it was emitting black smoke. Breakfast was done!

He wiped his hands with a towel before putting the food onto two plates and standing back to marvel over his amazing work, a big grin on his face. "There! Breakfast is ready!"

He walked down the hall to America's room. "America is still in bed..." He opened the door and sat down on the edge of his colony's bed, looking at him with a sad expression on his face. "...America..." He noticed the pair of sky-blue eyes opening and looking at him.

"Good morning England!" He said sitting up, a large smile plastered all over his face.

He seemed alright.

England smiled at him a bit nervously. "G-Good morning. You slept in late, are you feeling alright?"

America jumped at him, cuddling him. "I feel great!"

"Really? I'm so glad!" He smiled, relief all too evident in face and voice. "Are you hungry? I made us some breakfast." He offered, smiling at the dark-blonde.

"Yeah, I'm starving!"

"Hurry up and get dressed. You don't want your food to get cold." England said as he got up and left, closing the door quietly.

America smiled at him as he left.

And after he left, it dropped.

_England..._

_Your magic never works._

_/_

_Author note time-_

This was based on a comic I had found in the USUK Kink Meme, so the original creator Is anonymous, I do not know who It is. If you created this and would like me to take this piece down for whatever reason, please PM me.

Normally I am a fan of shota, but this comic was something I hadn't really considered, but I did indeed love the comic as angst is one of my favourite genres, so I had the urge to write it.

There, so far, is no actual end to the story as the comic is still in progress, but I had to end this somewhere, and I spent a while choosing the exact moment.

-EDIT- I'd like to thank the anonymous reviewer by telling me it was Parsley on Y!Gallery who drew this original comic. thread=43481241#t43481241 This thread is the start to the comic, for you who've asked for it. I am rather happy to say I've gotten my hands on more pages of the comic, so this story will continue! I'm very glad for all the good reviews, they really made me smile~!

If you enjoyed it, please leave a review or comment of some kind. Thank you~


	2. Chapter 2

So here is me, back with another instalment from LPTNH. Now, the start of this takes place during the comic, and I've taken the rest into my own hands. I'm stuck on whether the end will be happy or sad, but I do hope it is accepted either way. Thank you Parsley, for giving me the permission!~

**-Chapter Two-**

After composing himself, Alfred had made his way to get dressed. He was now sitting on the edge of his bed, pulling on his socks idly before making his way to his dresser and opening it, pulling on one of his short sleeved shirts before he caught his reflection in the mirror atop the drawers.

"What's this...?" He questioned quietly, pushing his collar back to see a small mark on his collarbone. He brushed his fingers over it lightly before the memory came back to him. "This is from last night." Simply memorizing how Arthur had leaned down to kiss him harshly made a small blush creep over his face in shame and embarrassment.

He gripped the handles to the dressers to open it. "I could hide it with a tie." As he pulled the drawers out again, he noticed another mark on his arm, near his wrist. "...England, you dummy, even if I had forgotten, you left marks all over me..."

He smiled shakily and gripped his wrist. "It's not a big deal, I heal fast...They'll be gone by the end of the day..." He lifted his shirt back over his head and dumped it on the floor. "I should wear long sleeves though just in case..." He pulled a longer-sleeved shirt over his head and fixed it. It covered the marks perfectly. "There, now you can't tell anything is wrong."

He looked at his covered self in the mirror for a few moments before his smile fell and his hand shook as he gritted his teeth together,

England was waiting patiently for his young charge when the sound of splintering glass exploded from the room, startling him.

He ran down the hallway to America's room before throwing the door open, looking quickly at the broken dresser mirror to the boy on the ground, clutching his bleeding hand.

"E-England!"

"Your hand is bleeding..."

The old nation crouched down by the young boy, gripping his hand with one of his own, and a cloth in the other.

"What happened?" England asked nervously.

"It was an accident!" He sobbed. "I...I was going to get something out of the dresser and I tripped. I tried to stop my head from hitting the dresser and...my hand hit the mirror."

"Is that what happened?" Arthur asked him, voice quiet and soft.

"...Yes..." Alfred lied as Arthur wiped the blood from his hand.

His heart skipped a little seeing Arthur turn to look at the broken mirror, and back to his hand with uncertainty all over his face.

America bit his lip gently. "What's that look? Does he not believe me? Should I tell him the truth?"

He tried to fend off his trembling as he looked down at his hand as the older blonde wrapped it up with the cloth. "E-England..."

"Yes?"

He looked up to see America's head lowered, covering his eyes from his view.

"I remember."

Arthur's blood ran cold right then and there, his eyes widening as he stared at the dark-blonde haired child.

"...What?"

"That is, I mean-" Alfred spoke up quickly, regretting having said anything, there had to be something he could do to save this situation. "I remember the last time you patched me up, when I fell off that fence! You carried me all the way home...You're always taking care of me..."

Arthur was about to cry, at least, he looked it. His face was a bitter mix of broken-heartedness and despair that it even sent a tiny pang through Alfreds heart.

"Of course I'll always be here for you...I care about you very much...I..."

He stood up shakily, breaking his eye contact with the child, unable to keep looking into his innocent blue eyes. "I...uh...I have to go. I'll be right back, I have to get something."

Before America could reply the sound of heavy footsteps could already be hear rushing from the room. He stared downwards at his hand sadly.

_I couldn't say it._

/

"I think my heart stopped for a second there." England muttered out shakily, leaning against the wall, one hand fisted by his slightly sweaty brow.

"Calm down England, you're being paranoid. He's fine, he doesn't remember anything." He pushed himself away from the wall, gulping gently before looking up, eyes closed, at the wall, trying to relax. "Pull yourself together. For his sake."

And had he been paying attention, he would have noticed the small curl of hair and soft blue eyes poking out from behind the wall, looking at him, the same blue eyes peppered with sadness.

/

America had sat himself down on one of the hard wooden chairs at the kitchen table, waiting for Arthur to come back from his moment of internal crisis and panic, idly swinging his legs under the table.

"America?" England said, slightly surprised to see the boy sitting there so happily.

"I was hungry. ~I thought we should eat before it gets cold." The boy said, mouth stretched wide in a grin.

England pulled a chair out on the opposite side of the table and sat down. "I guess I could clear up that broken glass after breakfast."

Alfred picked up his fork and poked at the black mess that was meant to be food on his plate.

_It's awful._

"This is delicious!"

"Really?" England asked hopefully.

"Yeah!" Replied the child, nodding his head.

_I've just realised...I've been lying to England this whole time!_

_That's right. I've always been able to eat England's cooking and tell him it's wonderful, no matter how terrible it is..._

_But I only do that because I want to keep him smiling._

_Pretending that I can't remember what he did. It's the same thing._

_I can do this. I can make it like it never happened._

_We can go back to the way things were._

"You want to go down to the dock today?" England asked.

"Yeah, I love the ocean!" Replied the child, still full of his bright demeanour.

/

The sky was a wonderful blue, like it always seemed to be in America, a very slight breeze ruffling grass and leaves. England and America walked towards the wooden railings by the docks, hands clasped tightly against each other.

"You're going to take me out to sea with you one day right?" Alfred said, a smile gracing his lips as he looked up at the elder.

"Of course. When you're older, that is." Came the soft reply.

_Everything is already starting to feel it's back to normal..._

America rested his arms on the railing, staring out at the sparkling blue ocean, the wind ruffling his wheat-coloured hair. For the first time since yesterday, he felt finally relaxed.

England smiled down at him lovingly, moving his hand to lay at the back of America's neck, before a small hand came up and smacked it away.

England stared at the young boy, his eyebrows upturning. "America...?"

"Um, that was...I didn't mean to...It's just...your hands are cold." He gently gripped one of the others males' larger hands. "Here, let me warm them up for you."

He blew gently on the hand and a dark flush erupted over Arthur's cheeks as he tugged his hand away. "That's okay, you don't have to do that!"

_Arthur's blushing..._

America's face turned into one of repulsion and disgust as the elder looked away.

_He's probably thinking of something nasty to do to me..._

_Has England always been this way?_

_...Why hadn't I noticed it before...?_

England nearly caught the glare out of the side of his eye, but was too caught up In his thoughts to really notice. He turned to America slightly, he needed to put some space between them, just for a few moments.

_Even though I want to be closer to him._

_So much closer..._

"America...Do you want to go to the beach? It's a nice day, it'd be relaxing."

_And I so badly need to sit down and think things over..._

"Okay then, sounds like fun!" America smiled and wondered just how long he'd have to pretend things were fine before he'd either mess up or Arthur would drag it out of him...

_No! Can't think like that, you won't mess up, Alfred, you're the best, you're a hero, you can make everything better, just...try and stop thinking about it, it'll go away._

/

As per usual, the sands on the beach were soft, slightly warm from the suns heat, and remarkably comfortable to lie on, as Arthur relished as he lay down, contemplating his situation, and whether he should tell the child what had happened.

_It's not right to lie to him, he's a child._

_But could I really bear him hating me...?_

_But he deserves to know, I mean I violated him..._

_Which is why I can't tell him..._

_It's because I love him._

Alfred was happy down there, by the water, it seemed each time Arthur looked at him, the boy would be up to something new. So spontaneous, he was so lively...

He realised he'd been _leering _and wanted to slap himself, glad Alfred hadn't noticed.

_I honestly can't help looking at him, he gorgeous...I love him..._

_He just...doesn't fully understand it yet._

_Maybe..._

_Maybe I can teach him to love me like how I love him?_

It wasn't until he heard a loud splash and equally loud yell that he started to pay attention.

Alfred had fallen into the water. Arthur looked over his knees, eyes diverted from the sky, and saw the child planted on his backside, water dripping from him.

He tried to ignore how the water had made his shirt a little transparent.

Alfred had slowly stood up, as if in shock and took his time walking back up to England, trembling, and Arthur could only hope it was because he was cold. Not scared.

"England, I fell in! I-It's freezing..." He muttered out, clutching his arms as water dripped from his hair.

"Well, we better get you out of those clothes, you'll freeze! You can have my wais-" England said, standing up and starting to shrug his waistjacket off.

"No!"

"...America, is something wrong?"

The colony looked up into the elders face, he was frowning, and looked slightly fearful,

"N-no, it's just, I'd feel shy, people might see me!"

England smiled at him, and America flinched, it seemed so familiar, like...

"We live all the way near a forest, nobody else lives nearby, don't worry, nobody will see you."

_No, they won't, but you will..._

"Don't you think I'm a bit big to take off my clothes in public...?" He said shakily, face down, silky hair covering his eyes. To be truthful, he wanted to take them off and put something warm on, but...not here...not in front of England.

"Okay then...Well, let's go home, it seems you're in a bit of a bad mood, didn't you sleep well?"

The pure concern on England's face made America feel guilty, but he felt that he could shrug it off, just like how England could.

Anything England could do, so could he.

"No, I guess it's just because I fell in." America forced out a laugh and reached his hand up to take hold of England's.

England blushed again, and took hold of the child's hand, America wincing slightly.

"...America?"

"I think I got water in my cut..." He said shakily, closing his eyes in pain as he gently took his hand away, and yes, there was blood all over his palm, he'd even accidentally got some on England.

He stared at the watery pinkish red liquid on his hand and burst into tears, startling England.

"D-don't cry, it's just a little cut!" He kneeled down to America's level to take hold of the wounded hand and look the boy in the eyes.

"It hurts!" The child screeched, rubbing his eyes furiously with his soaked, non-bloody hand, face contorted in pain.

"Just endure it until we get back to the house okay? Then I'll bandage your hand up again."

The familiar words made America twitch, but thankfully the elder didn't notice, too preoccupied with inspecting the injured hand.

_Will he...will he just hurt me again when we're back home...?_

"...okay..." He muttered out. To be honest, he was very tired, after that emotional outburst and thinking too hard he was just exhausted.

"Want me to carry you?" England asked, standing up and brushing off his knees.

America contemplated the question hard. If he said yes, England would be touching him, if he said no, he'd have to walk, and he was too tired to do so, but at least he'd be untouched...

Why did it matter anyway, it had already happened, there was no getting that sort of innocence back.

"Okay then, I'm getting tired anyway."

England smiled at him sweetly, kneeling down again to let the colony hop onto his back, tucking his arms under the small legs to make sure he wouldn't fall off as Alfred wrapped his arms around England's neck.

_I'm strong enough, I could choke him right now...Make him pay for hurting me..._

_But..._

_I just don't think I could hurt him, regardless..._

He could only look around as England walked themselves back home, the body heat from his colonizers strong back helping to stop him from freezing. He watched the sea dissapear from view and the smell of the salty sea water go along with it.

The scenery became more grassy and leafy as they went into the woods, going up the long, muddy path that was the way back home.

Alfred blushed slightly, feeling a little more relaxed and comfortable than he was initially, his head lolling and gently hitting against Arthur's back as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

_England won't be mad at me if I nap right...?_

Before he could even answer himself, Alfred was snoring lightly. Arthur turned his head lightly towards him and blushed.

_Now who's going to change you out of those wet clothes?_

_/_

When Alfred woke up, he knew it was dark outside, because even while his curtains were shut the room was darker than it should have been during the day. What time could it have been anyway?

He was dry too, and in his night-clothes. Arthur must have changed him and dried him while he was sleeping.

A shudder ran down his back as he realised Arthur had seen him naked again, while he was asleep and thus, defenceless. He spread his legs a little under the blanket, only noticing the slight sting the previous night had caused. Thank god, he hadn't done that to him again while he'd slept.

His thoughts were disrupted as he heard a loud crash of thunder outside his room, accompanied by the heavy rain he failed to notice as he stirred awake. He huddled up further under his blanket, whimpering.

Alfred hated thunder.

By this point, before, he would have rushed straight to Arthur's room, cuddled next to him in bed until the older man tried to lull him to sleep again.

But how could he do that anymore? He was too scared, maybe even more scared than he was of the raging storm outside. Would Arthur just try to take advantage of his fear? Oh gods, what to do?

As yet another loud, ear-piercing crash of thunder exploded outside, Alfred half-reluctantly tossed his blanket from himself and found himself running for his door, down the hall and crashing into Arthur's room, sobbing loudly.

He didn't know if he was crying because he had a gut feeling Arthur would hurt him, or because it was truly only the thunder scaring him.

Either way, he threw himself onto Arthur's bed, clinging to him, trembling and sobbing.

Maybe he was crying because even if Arthur hurt him again, he would forgive him, over, and over, and over, because he loved Arthur, even if it meant becoming unstable.

Arthur opened his green eyes and looked down at the boy clinging to him, and reached out and brought him up to his chest as he sat up, stroking his hair gently.

"Is is a storm? Want to sleep in my bed tonight America?" He asked him softly.

How many times, Alfred thought, had he slept in England's bed with Arthur wanting to do things to him...?

Nonetheless, he climbed under Arthur's blanket, laying pressed up against him as the older male sang quietly to him to get him to sleep, just like how when he was only tiny.

Alfred looked up tiredly, and caught Arthur's gaze awkwardly.

England leaned down, about to kiss Alfred on the forehead for being so brave -he wouldn't try to prove how much he loved him when he was this scared- when the young boy yelped and smacked him hard in the face, shuffling far away from the elder.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Arthur put a hand to his red cheek, staring blankly at the young child.

"I think we need to talk, America..."

**/**

**First, I gotta say, thanks so much for the good feedback -even though I didn't come up with anything in the first chapter /cries/ so I hope you've liked my second chapter as well, where I took on board the story direction -for the most part- myself now~ C: I hope I haven't ruined your story, Parsley ;;**

**Once I read the thing about America sleeping in England's bed when he was little when he was scared, I had to implement the idea somehow. The next chapter may or may not be the last, we will not know until we get there!**

**I, for one, have had sea-water get into a wound of mine once, and it really does hurt like hell e_e;**

**Why do I love creeper!Arthur so much? Oh my god why?**

**/I bet If Iggy's bro's knew what happened, they would come over and mess his face up spectacularly/**

**Thanks for reading again, and if you liked it, please review ;3;**


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